I'm sorry I am just now updating about Monday's appointment. For those of you who know me best, know that I am just "tired." It seems that the only good news to report is that Brayden is still with us. I cannot believe that I am already 7 months pregnant. In one way it seems that I have been dealing with this forever, but now that his due date is approaching, I feel that it is going by way to fast. Truth be told I'm just not ready to bury my baby. I realize that God is still in control and that there can still be a miracle. I feel my miracle is going to be getting to meet sweet Brayden. I'm so thankful that God has allowed him to defy all statistics that he wouldn't make it past 18 weeks. I just cannot stand the thought losing him. I am scared to death of what the day of his birth is going to bring us. Although there are other emotions I feel that day will bring, scared is the biggest one that jumps out. It's amazing what can hurt you when you are going through something like this. For mother's day, Lisa made some pictures of Bryce and put it in a frame for me. I loved it! But as I was looking at the others, it hurt me to see a friend's gift. Her children have the same age difference as Bryce and Brayden. It was so precious to see them in their pictures with their arms around each other. It struck me that I may not ever get one of those pictures. I know I probably shouldn't think that way, but those are the things that pop into my mind everyday. I cannot believe how much of my life that I taken for granted. I took for granted bringing Bryce home from the hospital. I wish I could go back and live those moments again. I don't think Marcus and I would have minded as much not getting ANY sleep with a newborn that had his days and nights confused. I would give anything for Brayden to be able to keep us up at night.
Prayers needed.
"For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the one who helps you." Isaiah 41:13
Praying to our Jehovah-Rapha, our "God who heals," for you, for Brayden, for Marcus, for Bryce.
ReplyDeleteThe relationship you're building with Brayden right now will last you for all eternity. The Lord is honored by your love for the weak and defenseless. I'm blessed by reading of it. You have a big heart and Brayden will never leave it.
Hang in there. Is 41:13 is beautiful; the Lord is holding your hand.
Hey girl - I have been thinking about y'all often. We are doing a great series at church (http://www.churchofthehighlands.com/media/series/from-the-grave) and the theme verse is Revelation 1:18: I am the living one. I died, but look--I am alive forever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and the grave.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what the doctors or the odds say, Brayden's precious life and death is in the hands of the Lord. ONLY HE holds the key. And 7 months - wow! What a miracle already!
You are always on my mind and prayers everyday. Everytime I reach your name on my prayer list I say a prayer for comfort and healing. We know that Brayden will be healed and that is the promise God has given us. We pray that we will be able to see it on this side of heaven but we know that he will be healed. I pray for time. I pray for each precious second and that you will be able to hold thos memories until you hold him again in eternity. Know that I am a phone call away when you need me.
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